When your kid was small, he was in love with a toy. A toy he will take everywhere, will be sad even on the thought of losing that toy. What did you do?
As a parent, you would have always expressed your love towards that toy and respect towards your kid’s feeling. It is said that if you respect the feelings of your kid, your kid will turn out to be a respectful person in the future.
Now when your kid is all grown up, has fallen in love or you have searched for a matrimonial alliance for him. This is a very important phase of your child’s life and even the new member of your family’s life. Go back to that time when you were in same boat. You were all so excited with the thought of your own wedding. Some people would have treated you so well or some would have simply ignored or ill-treated you. Have you forgotten anything? If the answer is no, then ensure that you only give positive and happy moments which your kids when think in their life, should only be happy about.
This is the time of your son’s life when he is stepping to a new life. Here are some tips to avoid any confusions and problems what as new in-laws you should know:
1- You always respected your kid’s choices, not it’s a real person in his life. Respect that person too. Your respect and love towards this member will only bring your child and the new person closer to you.
2- Don’t always think the intensions to be wrong: It is obvious that confusions will come but that should not mean that you start thinking about the wrong intensions of this new person.
3- Treat her the way you treat your own daughter or the way you want your daughter to be treated at her in-laws house. If you can achieve this then there is no reason there is a difference in the family.
4- Show special treatments on special events. Life is too short, don’t feel shy to express your love towards your son or the daughter-in-law. This will only create the bonding strong.
5- Don’t compare the situations of your daughter-in-law with yourself. This is sometimes a big problem in houses. Time changes and so the circumstances. Don’t keep comparing your daughter in law with how your life was at that time. This creates distance as you are never able to think beyond yourself.
6- We never think our married daughter is wrong in any way. Give the same benefit of doubt to your daughter-in-law too.
7- It is a difficult phase of parenting but with efforts and positive outlook you can change things.
8- There is no harm in expressing love to your son. If you don’t do that you are only creating walls between the family. Your son also need the same love as your daughter but parents sometimes forget this due to which the son prefers to keep a distance.
9- Keep your expectation level low. What do you expect once your daughter is married? You only believe in giving but sometimes we expect too much from a son. This puts your son in a lot of pressure. He has so many people to look after. Believe it, he has not forgotten you but may be its still time for him to come to a right position.
10- While saying anything in public about daughter or the son, understand that both are people with feelings. You don’t expect your kids to say bad things about parents on public platforms so you should also be careful in selection of words. This will do no wonder but will take your child little more away from you.